Whoops! Looks like the scheduled post didn’t publish. Anticipate two posts today!
You’re two months old, Clara! Incredible. I may shed a few tears over how fast time is going, even though the days themselves feel long. (“The days are long, the years are short”—there’s truth to that expression.)
Wake Windows and Sleep Experiments
We had such a beautiful start to the week. I finally focused on your wake windows—and by golly, they make a difference. At your age, wake windows are 45–60 minutes, and this week it clicked for me that means eyes open to eyes closed. Not just feeding or playing, but also the 15–20 minutes it takes to bounce, walk, rock, or sing you to sleep. So really, I need to start winding you down around the 35–45 minute mark.
The tricky part is that visits get complicated. If you’re only truly alert for 5–10 minutes (not eating, not diaper-changing), that doesn’t leave much time to catch up with friends or show you off. Still, we had a lot more success with naps when I respected that window.
Early in the week, we had a rocky 24 hours after I experimented with waking you up from a nap. Will not be doing that again. After that one, the domino effect ruined the rest of the naps that day and affected your nighttime sleep. When you get really fussy, I climb up and down the stairs chanting loudly (to match your volume) “You’re ok Clara, you’re ok” and making up lyrics as I go after that. Also tried out a new song (the lyrics I will never remember) to calm you down in which I say “maybe one day you’ll grow up to be…” And then I come up with as many rhyming lines of professions as I can (“a teacher, a preacher, a star-reacher – that’s to say, an astronaut”).
Diet Drama
Most of the week went well. Very little spit-up, barely any gas drops needed. All good news, especially since I ran out of your Pepcid. That is… until Friday, when I ate a Clif Bar without realizing it contained soy protein. Several hours later, the spit-up, vomiting, upset stomach, mucus-filled diarrhea, and crying all came rushing back. Lesson learned: label reading is not optional.
The fallout meant a couple of sleepless nights, you only comfortable upright in my arms. Exhausting, but we got through it.
Growth Spurts and New Senses
This week felt like a growth spurt (Wonder Weeks Leap 2) —you were fussier than usual without a clear reason. You’re also paying closer attention to the world. Sounds fascinate you most (and wake you up the fastest). You turn your head from side to side, trying to locate where they come from: blown raspberries, crinkling plastic, the doorstop, a neighbor outside, garbage bins, and of course, your dad’s and my voices.
You also discovered your hands, starting to self-soothe by sucking on them. You noticed the colors on your play mat and the images in books. It’s like the world is sharpening into focus for you.
Mom Updates
I’m starting to feel a bit better this week too—it helps immensely when you’re feeling good. Therapy has been helpful, though I’ve been exploring some dissociative feelings I’ve never experienced before, along with the usual suspects: identity, responsibility, isolation. I still cry easily (even at commercials).
While watching The Great British Bake Off, one contestant baked in honor of his late grandmother, bringing her photo along. It reminded me so strongly of your great-grandmother, Scooby, and of course I teared up immediately.
I’ve also been thinking about work. Some skills feel fuzzy, like I’m losing them. I’m brainstorming ways to practice during your naps, though contact naps make that tough—hence me relying a lot on my phone and iPad.
Small Wins and Ongoing Work
Speaking of naps, I successfully put you down for one in the bassinet this week—drowsy but awake! I stayed right by your side the whole time. Unfortunately, it ended abruptly when Mable tried to bulldoze her way into the room, banging the door repeatedly. We’ll keep working on it.
This next week’s big projects: easing away from exclusive contact naps, helping you tolerate the car seat so leaving the house isn’t always stressful, and moving toward bottle feeding. That last one is critical for when I go back to work—and, frankly, for whenever I need a break. We’ll get there, little by little.
Weeklies
- New skills: hand-sucking, paying more attention to your surroundings
- Favorites: diaper-free time, and staring at me and your dad (but let’s be honest, me more)
- Visits: none this week—just you and me. With the growth spurt, I tried to protect your sleep. Auntie Janet has been a huge help, though.
- Firsts: daytime bath, and your first poop blowout not in a diaper or potty, but all over me, the blanket, and the floor
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