Hi, Clara. This week marks the end of my state-provided disability leave under California’s standard timeline. Only seven states offer separate disability-related leave for childbirth by law—something I’m passionate about, and writing more about in a separate post. But it’s hitting me harder now that I’m a new mom navigating all of this in real-time,…

We made it to 5 weeks! We took photos to mark your first month, but the most memorable part of this week was (hopefully) resolving your colic. You’ve spent the last couple of weeks really upset. My body is sore from all the bouncing and walking to soothe you—I’ve been logging over 6,000 steps a…

Clara, Your Papá and I are trying some things that are unconventional. On the one hand, there’s the cross-cultural household you’re being raised in. There are the more natural, organic, unstructured ways of Europe and the stricter conventional ways of the United States. Then there’s also your Californian mom who’s a researcher and a bit…

Physically, this week has been a bit of a shift. My pelvis has started to hurt again—similar to how it felt during pregnancy—which I think is due to all the babywearing, bouncing, and swaying we’ve been doing. Honestly, I’ve probably been too active. My bleeding returned to bright red, accompanied by cramping. The doctor said…

Clara, today you are four weeks old, and just two days shy of being a full month old! Incredible. Each day I comment to Papa on how tiny you still are. It doesn’t seem fair to be so small in such a big world. I’m still in awe of how prematurely we exist as a…

Note: this was actually written in week 2 but I didn’t finish writing it until now, so take that into context. Last night was tough, Clara. I was ready to go to sleep at 8, but you were awake as can be at 8, and at 9, and at 10, and at 11, and at…

This week was a challenging week for me. Lots of tears. I think the first couple weeks were all about focused survival mode, but by week 3, the sleep deprivation really sets in. Reality really sets in, and the amount of people checking in tapers off a bit. Physically, I got my check-up complete for…

Clara, you are already approaching a month old. It’s incredible how time works when you’re taking care of a newborn. I cannot describe adequately how strange it is that it’s already been 3 weeks and also that everyday feels entirely too short and also infinite. The pediatrician confirmed at your appointment early this week that…

The first day we were home, Clara, we put you down in your Snoo. The Snoo is a ridiculously expensive bassinet that listens to you while you sleep and has different level settings to swivel you back and forth with ambient noise while you lay on your back. It comes with a swaddle (we don’t…