Month 3 With Clara: Seasons of Change

Shifts in Season, Shifts in Us

The seasons are changing, my dear. We had our first rain in a while, and the light in your nursery now fades quicker during your last nap of the day. Summer has gone. Lately, you’ve been falling asleep around 6–7 p.m.—right when your dad gets home—so you don’t see him much during the week.

The seasons are changing for me too. My milk has regulated, which means less engorgement. I still have a strong letdown and oversupply, which can be a little uncomfortable for you. Sometimes you pop off and it sprays all over your face and hair—sorry! I wish I could control it better. With that regulation switch (I think), my hormones have been all over the place. I’ve felt more irritable but also more loving, more anxious but also more carefree, more tired and also more awake. A lot of pendulum swings. I even had my first bout of insomnia in months.

Papá Becomes a Citizen

I’ve also been worrying about a lot. Your Papá had his citizenship interview and test on Friday, followed by his oath! It’s been a scary time in our country for immigration. Our little family is advantaged in many ways, but recent news stories still made me nervous about his visit to a federal building. Thankfully, all went well—he’s a citizen now! This has been in progress for five years. Someday you’ll understand just how long that is to be bogged down in bureaucratic processes. Even then, so many people wait longer, do everything right, and still get denied or deported. I’m so grateful that’s not our story.

The Weight of Returning to Work

I’ve also been thinking a lot about going back to work. I don’t want to, but we need my job financially. I’m the breadwinner (yay feminism!), but I’m also a recently postpartum woman with a Velcro baby who already has separation anxiety. I’m nervous about leaving you with someone else. Honestly, studying psychology, early development, and attachment doesn’t help—it makes me more anxious.

I know eventually you’ll be fine. I know it’s important for you to have secondary attachment figures. But it feels too soon. You’re so small. The thought of hearing you cry-scream every day in the car on the way to daycare breaks my heart. Still, we’ll figure it out. Sometimes we have to do things we don’t want to for the bigger picture. Sometimes we have to sit with discomfort to get by.

Pushing Comfort Zones: Friends and Freedom

On the flip side, I did push my own comfort zone this week by loosening your schedule a little to see friends. I met up with Laini, whose baby girl is three weeks younger (and at least three inches taller!), and Jenn, whose little boy is exactly a week older. It was so nice to spend time with other moms who truly understand the nuances of postpartum. You did lots of carrier naps and put up less of a fight than if we’d been home solo.

Healing and Hope: Your Tummy Journey

I think you’re starting to heal your digestive tract. The blood in your diapers is mostly gone, and your diarrhea improved later in the week. We still had plenty of middle-of-the-night wakeups for diaper changes, but they’ve started to taper off.

I had a consultation with a doctor from Free to Feed to talk through your issues and narrow down possible causes. I still have a long road ahead with eliminating allergens. This week we cut out corn—maybe that’s helping. By the time we figure it all out, you’ll probably be starting soliids!

Your Weeklies: Month 3 Highlights

New Things

• You started cooing much more this week. It’s the most adorable thing I’ve ever seen. You’ll coo to get my attention or just to “chat.” You tell me about your day, what you didn’t like, and what you dreamt last night—at least, that’s what I imagine. You’ve also been smiling more.
• You rolled for the first time! You haven’t quite mastered it, but I was ecstatic to see it happen.
• You’ve gotten lots of teethers to help with your bottle aversion. You don’t like all of them, but you’re definitely exploring.
• You finally noticed the dog, though you’re not too interested yet.
• You’ve started grasping toys and holding onto favorites.

Continuing Things

• You’re still fascinated by colors and shapes. At Jenn’s, you loved the abstract art posters and her bright table.
• Tummy time is less of a struggle but still challenging. Your head-turning preference is improving, though.

Growth & Development

• Height & weight: Unclear since we haven’t measured in a while, but likely over 12 lbs and 23 inches.
• Clothes: Wearing size 3M or 3–6M.

Personality & Behavior

• What makes you smile? Me, your mom! Your dad when he’s being silly, sometimes strangers, and even video calls.
• Sounds you make: Lots of coos (oohs and ahhs). You scream “nahr” when upset and are generally very vocal.
• Recognizing faces/voices: You definitely recognize me and Papá. We haven’t seen anyone else enough for true familiarity.
• Favorite toys/activities: Your mushroom teether, animal tails books, and your furry microfiber hedgehog.

Daily Life

• Sleep: Slowly improving. A few short bassinet naps, but you still wake multiple times to eat (every 1.5–2 hours after your first longer stretch, or sometimes to poop). Daytime naps are unpredictable.
• Feeding: You like to comfort nurse, and you won’t take a pacifier (though you like chewing it). On a good day, we nurse before and after naps (every 1–2 hours). We’re working on spacing feedings more.
• Favorite position: Shifting. You used to love contact naps, but you’re craving more independence—though reflux makes upright holding more comfortable. You still love being held over the shoulder.
• Bath/bedtime: Baths about twice a week. You’re learning to enjoy the water, but getting out is still hard—you cry until you’re swaddled in a towel. Papá is the best at handling you post-bath. This week I let your feet kick in the water—you loved the splashes on your soles.

Special Memories

• First laugh? Papá swears you’ve been laughing for weeks, but I caught your first real squeal-laugh yesterday at UPS while they were taping boxes. Technically, that belongs to next week’s update.
• Sweetest memory this month? Watching you coo, smile, and connect with us in new ways.

Parents’ Perspective

• How has life changed since you were born? I’m less anxious and more open. We’ve fixed things around the house for your safety. The dog gets one less walk a day, and the laundry pile is endless. Meals are usually CookUnity or big batches of your dad’s cooking. I haven’t finished cooking a meal since pregnancy. I usually go to sleep with you around 8 p.m., and we stay closer to home these days.
• What are we most proud of this month? How happy you’ve been when you’re awake.
• What are we looking forward to? Every milestone to come. My little girl is already growing out of the newborn phase! We love you, Clara.